Last Sunday

Monday, September 25, 2006

"One Last Time"
When she picked up the telephone His voice came on the lineShe said: "This can't be happening"And tears fell from her eyesShe said: "What am I supposed to do? I can't handle losing you"He said: "I just had to call to say goodbyeOne last time"
He said: "There are some things in this lifeThat are out of our controlLike who we fall in love withAnd when it's time to go"And she said: "What about the plans we had?"He said: "This connection's getting badNow come on, Baby, let me hear you smileOne last time"
She started to apologizeFor all the things that she'd done wrongShe said: "I would have loved you betterIf only I'd known"He said: "You were the perfect wifePromise me you'll go on with your life"She said: "The boys won't understand"He said: "Tell them Daddy loves them and be strong"
He said: "Honey, I've gotta go"She said: "Don't you dare hang upThere's so many things I need to sayI love you so much"It was almost like she felt him leaveShe cried out: "Can you still hear me?"She fell down on the kitchen floorWhen the signal diedAs the pilot tried to pull out of the diveOne last....
once upon a time i hated chick-flicks and country music (who knew?). i suppose both are sappy, so if you hate one, you have to hate the other. then i started liking country music, and the love of chick-flicks soon followed. at first i was able to watch them with a cold heart; then the tears started to form but remained surpressable; then they started falling -- making me the prefered form of entertainment for my friends during the closing moments of any film. sometimes, even during the O.C..
while tears (and i stress, only tears -- we're not talking all out sobbing here) come easy from books/songs/TV shows/movies, real life has a hard time breaking me. "real" tearing remains a bi- or tri-annual occurance. in fact, i can't remember the last time i cried. except for yesterday. now, before you conclude this was due to blog-withdral (it wasn't -- i'm not that attached/addicted/whatever), i stress that it had nothing to do with blogs, blogging, or the blog-war.
at one point in the evening i was mildly annoyed with the whole thing (i had nothing to do, and my one prefered form of procrastination had been stripped) -- call it the proverbial "twig that broke the camel's back". so i went to bed. except, when i was laying there in the dark, i suddenly started thinking "sad" things. Like: school almost being done, and the impending separation from some of my closest friends for extended periods of time; a summer full of shyty work without B & R, and brad's impending 16-month absense; the above sappy/sad country music lyrics; and other frustrating things in my life i won't expand upon.
it gets funny though. i was about three minutes into the cry that had been building up since my last cry (which was so long ago it has been forgotten) when it was rudely interrupted by share. can you see the irony? i finally break down to have a good solid cry, and then it's interrupted?! i guess that's why i usually "save" these events for my room at home, or the shower. anyways, i guess i did a good job of hiding the potentially embarrassing situation of being discovered with red-rimmed eyes (she didn't even notice the kleenex box next to my pillow), because she didn't notice. good thing, because i fear it would've been linked to yesterday's blogging fiasco, which was actually as amusing as annoying. i wouldn't want anyone to feel guilty or anything.... but yes, then al came in, and we started laughing (!?) about our childhoods and parents. irony number two: they were a perfectly-timed solution to my tears, and they didn't even know it.
friends are wonderful people.
anyways, i had a very good day today. that's usual: the day after the cry of the night before is always good, and i am always in a good mood that day too. altered brain chemical levels? maybe -- but whatever works....